Jurassic World Rebirth is the follow-up to 2022’s Jurassic World Dominion, the film that normalized the absence of a colon to separate the name of this series and the respective subtitle, though that’s the least of this franchise’s problems. The movie’s tagline promises “A New Era Is Born” but aside from some new faces and a minor plot tweak here or there, what exactly is “new” about this “era”? This entry follows the same formula that every one of the 6 sequels to 1993’s still-superlative Jurassic Park has abided by, though the proceedings come across as markedly haphazard and clunky this time out. It’s unclear at this point if Rebirth is meant to set up a trilogy, as Jurassic World did in 2015, but my hope is that audiences will finally let these dinosaurs get some rest so we don’t have to keep waking them up every few years for a crummy cash-grab.
Following a ludicrous cold open, Jurassic World Rebirth picks up 5 years after the events of Dominion. The majority of the remaining dinosaur populations have shuffled off to equatorial islands for a more favorable tropical environment. Not content with leaving well enough alone, pharmaceutical rep Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend) comes to mercenary Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) with an 8-figure offer to head up a high-stakes mission. Along with paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) and captain Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), she’s tasked with collecting blood from three de-extinct dinos to fuel an in-development drug that can prevent heart disease. Their journey sends them to Ile Saint-Hubert, an island home to a research facility where experiments in “engineered entertainments” led to mutated dinosaurs that have thrived in isolation.
While cruising through the Atlantic, the team receives an SOS signal from a group of 4 civilians whose boat is capsized by rogue seafaring prehistoric creatures. After the crew picks up the survivors, it makes zero sense that they would continue their covert operation without dropping them off for safety first, but then Jurassic World Rebirth wouldn’t be able to hamstring its narrative by dedicating time to this new faction. Director Gareth Edwards and scribe David Koepp, the latter of whom co-wrote Jurassic Park, are most likely attempting to recapture the family-in-peril aspect of the original. But once the two camps are inevitably split up when they land, their stories really have nothing to do with one another and there’s little narrative consequence for the group evading the dinosaurs compared to the one tracking them down.
Everyone simply looks lost here and it’s not just because they’re on an unfamiliar island. Scarlett Johansson is already the highest-grossing box office actress of all time, so why is she here? Is she collecting appearances in big-budget fare from every major studio like Infinity Stones? Mahershala Ali has two Oscars; in Jurassic World Rebirth, he’s mainly relegated to howling like a fool every time Zora lands a shot with blood-capturing darts. Jonathan Bailey made a splash on the silver screen in Wicked last year but he’s completely anonymous here in a role that jettisons his considerable musical talents. Together, their efforts to establish pathos are about as discreet as a T-Rex trying to maneuver around a glass of water without making waves. While we’re on the subject, these Jurassic World movies need to quit with these cutesy sidekick dinosaurs like the one in Rebirth nicknamed Dolores. The creatures in this franchise can be terrifying, they can be majestic, but they are prohibited from being adorable.
During Loomis’ introduction scene, he spouts meta-commentary about how paltry sales for his dinosaur exhibits are now compared to 5 years ago, when people would wait hours in line for tickets; “nobody cares about these animals anymore,” he laments. It’s hard not to read this as studio chatter about how difficult it is to get general audiences back to the theaters for tentpole movies. But, fundamentally, it’s not wrong of us to expect more from our blockbusters. Certainly not every big release has to measure up to the all-time classics but just because a film costs $200 million to produce doesn’t mean it’s automatically worthy of overwhelming box office success. Jurassic World Rebirth is a prime example of vacant, IP water treading that Hollywood needs to make an endangered species.
Score – 1.5/5
New movies coming next weekend:
Playing only in theaters is Superman, a superhero movie starring David Corenswet and Rachel Brosnahan, retelling the tale of a superpowered being raised by an adoptive human family in Kansas before moving to the city of Metropolis to work as a reporter.
Also coming only to theaters is Skillhouse, a horror film starring Bryce Hall and Hannah Stocking, following ten influencers who are lured into a sinister content house and forced to compete in potentially lethal social media challenges.
Streaming on Shudder is Push, a home invasion thriller starring Alicia Sanz and Raúl Castillo, involving a pregnant realtor who is attacked by a sadistic killer at her open house, sending her into premature labor and forcing her to escape before she gives birth.